New Apple iTablet Pricing Shock

Insider information has revealed a pricing shock in store from O2 whenever the new Apple iTablet launches next year.

The new pricing structure is still being worked out, but it looks certain that O2 will force customers to sign up to a contract that requires them to take the iTablet three times a day, after meals.

With the initial selling price of the iTablet looking to be set at $936, this will work out at a cost of $2,808 per day, and eventually come to a total of $505,440 over an 18 month contract term, not including the additional cost of bundled minutes, texts and data.

An O2 spokesperson said that customers have already got used to paying double on contracts.

“We amortise the hardware cost of an iPhone across the contract term, so it's not unreasonable to charge customers for the balance on that if they upgrade to a new model. But we found they also seemed happy to pay double the profit margin, data and minutes during the overlap period as well. And they seem happy to pay extra for Internet tethering, which is a double hit for the same downloaded data. So our marketing department thought that charging them over and over and over again for the same hardware on a daily basis would work also.”

With Orange now entering the market, with their Haliborange iTablet, keen competition is likely to drive the costs to exactly where they were. And Tesco looked at the margin, added on some more and said "Every Little Helps!"

IT consultants have warned, however, that customers should take no more than 8 iTablets in any 24 hour period.

Apple iPhone Explodes in Customer's Face

I've been sitting on the fence for a while now regarding the iPhone. Will I get one, will I not?

On the one hand, there is the expense, and the fact that everyone now has one.

On the other hand, there is the expense, and the fact that everyone now has one.

So I wasn't sure.

Then I heard on the radio that an iPhone had exploded in the face of a user, showering him with brittle shards of glass, and I'm afraid that has finally made my mind up.

I must have one.

I've found mobile phones a little bland to date. They've never really done anything for me. Sure, texting was a novelty for a while, but after you've done all the 'just thinking about you naked' and then 'sorry, mum, meant for someone else' kind of stuff, that starts to pale also.

But a device that explodes randomly in your face, or better still in your ear when you're talking to someone important. Now that's something worth having.

Who's heart rate wouldn't increase when the phone rang? Who wouldn't live life to the full every day, as the personal development coaches would have us do, knowing they had a few texts to send later on that afternoon?

When a parting friend says 'I'll ring you later', your first instinct would surely be to grab them in a Casablanca-style embrace, lest that call be your last.

Yes, finally a device to die for. The REAL killer app. The ultimate pinnacle of blind consumerism.

I'm on my way!